Talks-1

‘I don’t give a shit about what you think’ I shouted at him.

‘Neither do I’ He replied!

‘Then why the hell do you mind when I step in to a mosque?’ I was angry.

‘Do you ever feel His existence?’ He sounded as if he was equally angry.

It was not the first occasion that me and my good friend started fighting or more precisely bitching about belief.

‘Coffee?’ I broke the ice and we occupied a comfortable table in a near by café.

‘Answer me!’ He was not ready to see me sip the coffee peacefully.

‘So everyone who believe in His existence is a fool or what?’ I reiterated.

‘Of course! You think rationally dude! You will get it!’. The reckless atheist replied.

‘First up, you please think!’ I sounded as if I was frustrated.

‘What do you mean?’ He was certainly frustrated now.

‘I mean that you are terribly wrong! It depends, dude!’ I added some fuel to fire.

‘What the fuck? Depends on what?’ He replied, annoyed.

‘Depends on every individual. Depends on everything in their lives...’ I tried to explain it out to him.

‘Speak at least a little logically’ He was certainly annoyed.

‘Well, There is something that I believe in. It's called "the staircase model". I guess it can explain things better to you da!’ I tried to vent some heat off the conversation.

‘What staircase has to do with here?’

‘Like I said, it just serves as an analogy here!’ I was confusing him even more.

‘Dude, don’t talk random shit! Get to the point!!’ He annoyed me like anything with this

‘Please let me explain. Can you please be a little patient?’ I shouted at him.

‘Chill.. Go ahead!’ He finally showed some patience.

‘See, consider the variety of people who take the stairs. Their dependence on its hand rail serves as an analogy for different peoples’ belief on God!!’ I started explaining myself.

‘Huh? Explain da!’

‘Well, consider the staircase to be the life you live and the associated handrail as God or more specifically, the belief on Him’

'Okkkaayyy?'

‘So consider an energetic youngster like you who is taking the staircase, you don’t really need the assistance of the handrail, and you guys don’t give a damn about it! Well the energetic youngsters in my model refers to the people who are really strong either mentally or economically or are very skilled and can proceed with their life without any assistance. So they don’t believe in God!’  I stopped being a little happy, as I had finally managed to make him listen to me, atleast for sometime.

'Then why does this energetic youngster seek out to it??' He asked, pointing me out, being happy ( revenge :P), thinking he had cornered me!

‘Well, for a super safe journey and to give some support and prevent me from stumbling, as I progress.’ I comfortably countered him.

‘But this world has quite a lot of people who are not energetic youngsters? What about them?’ He was not ready to give up.

‘I do agree that quite a lot of people other than youngsters take the stairs. Let me finish...’ I replied.

‘Go ahead’ He smiled.

‘Consider quite an old guy, or a differently abled guy. They need something to bank on as they climb the staircase and they seek it! So, I think the poor people or the people who are bit weak either economically, mentally or as in regard with the skills, need something to bank on to move ahead. Specifically, something which gives them confidence and keeps their hopes alive. God serves as a source of confidence and becomes the only hope for them’ I finished.

‘Mmmm..’ He seemed to be agreeing with me.

‘You know what the beauty is, quite a few people who don't seek the handrail normally, automatically extend their hands towards it if they stumble somewhere and also when a treacherous path is ahead of them..’ I added some more lustre to my theory.

‘Ok, why are you getting so angry and serious when I question you about your belief on Him?' He finally asked something which he was ought to ask aeons before!

‘Well, Seeking the handrail is completely upto me!! Who the heck are you to dictate things to me and to others? Why should anyone dictate terms to others? Do you love being dictated? Just because YOU don’t see something, it is not ethical or even logical to question its very existence. Someone somewhere needs it!! Similarly someone who needs that has no right to dictate you guys to use it!’ I ended.

‘Well, I’m sort of confused!’ He nodded unusually.

‘Free!, Chill out! Its time for us to leave’ I said as I dropped a tip to the bearer.

‘What about going to the Mosque?’ I tried to pull off some words from his mouth!

‘I don’t give a shit about you right now and I never will!’ He smiled at me.

And we proceeded to the nearby Mosque!

P.S.: This series of my 'Talks', starting with this, is to serve as a repository of my thoughts, view and perspectives regarding few issues and so, I’m trying to bring that out through fiction. Correct me, if I'm wrong at any place.

- Karthik Selva.

மோதல் கவிதை!!

A kavidhai update after quite some time :).. I penned this down in my fifth semester, keeping a situation in my mind, which i ve mentioned in the post script and also inspired by the words ' kan thaakudhe' of na.muthukumar.. It is supposed to be lil funny! Give ur feedback after reading :P

கருவிழி உன் வழி!

நனைகிறேன் இமை வழி!! 

ஆயிரம் கண்கள் கொண்டு

உனை நான் பார்க்க..

ஏதோ ஆயிரத்தில் ஒருவனாய்

எனை நீ நோக்க.. 

பள்ளி விட்ட குழந்தையாய்..

துள்ளி வந்தேன் நானே!

தள்ளி விட்ட குழந்தையாய்

திரும்பிச் சென்றேன் நானே!! 

சிரித்துவிட்டு முறைத்தவளே!

முறைத்துவிட்டு சிரித்த்திருக்க கூடாதா?? 

கை தொட்டுவிட்டு விட்டவளே..

விட்டுவிட்டு தொட்டிருக்க கூடாதா?? 

மனம் தளராதே- நாடி சொன்னது..

எனை வளர்க்காதே- தாடி சொன்னது!!! 

விட்டுவிட விழைந்தாலும்..

என் கண்கள் உனை பார்க்குதே

உன் கண்கள் எனை தாக்குதே!! 

P.S: காரி துப்பிட்டா மச்சான்!! :P

-கார்த்திக் செல்வா..

Expecting the unexpected.. :)

Once I was casually speaking with one of my friends randomly for hours. Suddenly he asked “You know what’s special about me?”

Even before I intended to ask him what it was, He told “I never expect anything from my friends!” Even at that instant he was expecting something which is much unexpected from me!! To believe him!! I couldn’t help myself laughing on hearing that.  Wouldn’t you laugh so when someone first tells that he is no fool and at the next instant affirming that he is none but a fool! (Tried an analogy :P).

    It left an impression with me. We are all used to the day old forwards which lament that a true relation or friendship is the one without any expectations!! And we still bank on this. How tragic??

So people always say that they don’t expect anything, Really don’t they expect anything??

       Don’t you check your mobile twice or thrice for some text even after the exchanging mutual gud nites with your wanna be love or seems to be friend replying machine!  Varatchi!!

       Don’t you look for a C or B grade in your result page, even if you had not given your exam well!  I could list 100 mokka examples like this. But to retain you visting my blog in future, let me stop with this two!

      But what’s strange is that we say we don’t expect anything but we keep expecting something which is UNEXPECTED! Don’t you always expect something unexpected to happen in your life that will eventually upturn your life?? There could be no good denial to this question by anyone who survives in this world!

But still we hardly accept our mistakes or even reveal the reality!!

Though a cliché goes ‘ Expectation hurts!’, do we stop expecting?? Never!

Isn’t it the deterred expectations which push you forward in your life??

Can you spend even a day without expecting something unexpected??

There is no part of life without any expectation for unexpected things!!

Thumbs up for expecting the unexpected in life J, though I certainly don’t expect any likes for the link in my fb wall or some +1s right below!!

- Karthik Selva.. 

Beep

           The morning fog of the winter was almost freezing my fingers. Slightest rays which the sun was able to make then had least to do with the weather at that time. The creeping sparrows over me made it feel like an unseen paradise in that industrial town. The all polluting gases from the cement factories around me did no harm to my breath of all fresh air. The lush of few green fields on the sides of the road was complementing it. The numbers of colonial cousins wavering ‘dheemtha dheemtha dherana’  in my music player  gave me the best company I could get there. The warmth of the coffee I had some time before in a roadside shop made that moment complete, where the taste it instilled sometime before, lingered even then on my tongue! The depression of a recently strained relationship and the bullying semester results which was expected to burst anytime in near future had abruptly vanished from my mind and nothing could stop me enjoying that very small and even silly, beautiful  moment. It was Karthik, walking through the sides of NH227 in Ariyalur in the late early morning.

‘So, what else could be better in this world than this early morning lonely walk in this no occupied road with a sip of hot coffee??’ My mind read.

‘Maybe a late night, sizzling bike ride across the same road’, I thought.  Eventually, these are the only two things I do regularly whenever I’m back home for weekends and vacations.  I love engulfing myself in joy these very small things fetches me, though many feel that these things don’t matter much. Anyway, I don’t give a damn about others! For me, all which brings the happiness are these small and silly things around me. The small occasional delights like these embraced my seemingly carefree life.

“ Gud morn!  jus woke up :).. Wassup? The same Walk huh??”, the text from Deepika beeped.

Struggling to read such a long good morning message, I was little amazed that only girls could convey so many contrasting things in a single text eventually confusing us always!!

‘yea :).. In gods own paradise!!’  I replied.

‘u r sick! U really need help :D. Y do ya bother so much about des simple things?’ She read. Really a girl could turn any good moment of you a regretting one and in the other way it works too!! I really didn't want the former one to happen!

‘Shut up! U ll get to know only wen u feel it.’ I tried to explicate to that bully.

‘Hmmm. Well.. So wat else makes Karthik all happy as dis?? J’ She seemed pleasant. That also partly explained to me that there was no other to hang out with, this early morning and she gotta bear with me. Honestly, it was she who is helping me out with some relieved moments and helping me to take some time off from my past.

‘ma best friend hugging me, playing with a cute kid like a kid! presenting a gift!!  ’ I said cheerfully.

‘ Oh! Then??’ She sounded bit sarcastic!

‘Sporting in Drizzle,  A long journey!!.. Wat s better than al dis in d world??’ I asserted firmly again.

‘nice :).. But still I don’t give a damn abt al des!’ She said.  Since the conversation was going nowhere, I ostensibly diverted the topic and made it quite interesting to her. In the mean time I was back at my home. Rest of the day passed with the grace of facebook and the company of Deepika, who seemed very attached to me. The day was also filled with occasional sarcastic phrases from my mom eventually meaning ‘ Dhendasoru’ for wasting the vacation at home. All I was looking all day, was for the late night to come so that I can go for a sizzling bike ride( certainly after my father sleeps!).. Eventually, the ride of the day was all perfect.

The next day started as usual with the morning walk, but I missed the texts from Deepika. I thought she would be busy! I reached my home at 7.30 am and I rested for a while and had my breakfast. I casually logged on into facebook with a cheesy expectation of fetching some 10 likes for a lame stolen status I posted last night!! I was taken aback by the first newsfeed on my facebook page , before  checking my notifications.

“ Venkatesh Ramanujam and 23 other friends wrote on Deepika Ramanan’s wall on her birthday today” It went.

Shit… I forgot her birthday. I was scolding myself with all possible words, my mouth could pull then.  I rushed to my mobile which was on the table and called her up. All I could hear was the recorded voice creeping that ‘the subscriber is not responding to your call’, even after trying umpteen times. Wasting no time I texted wishing her and apologized for wishing late.

‘ So u forgot ma bday rite Karthik??  She sounded feeble.

‘ I'm really sorry Deepika..’ I was really helpless but frank.

‘ U r rite da. Sometimes small things matter a lot!’ Her text delineated the hurt to me.

‘Don’t speak with me today pls. Leave me alone!’ Her aftermath message read even before I started typing my reply.

‘ I'm really sorry deepika.. I'm  really feeling guilty. As u wish I won't disturb u today. Happy bday again..’ I was trying to be genuine. There was no reply from her. Feeling angry with myself I threw my phone off and was sitting helplessly for forgetting her birthday. The rest of the day was disastrous and I was shouting at my mom even for small things and was just feeling somewhat which made me feel the pain of regret again.

      It was 10.30 pm and still I was not normal as she didn't reply to any of my messages all the day. I exorbitantly decided to go for the usual bike ride to feel some better. This is where I made the second mistake of the day as I slipped from my bike just after my home, as I was turning abruptly to avoid a stray dog. Sustaining few scratches, I screamed and my neighbor helped me out and accompanied to my home, also dropping my bike. Though I sustained only very minimal scratches I was more worried to hear my father berating me for the mess up.

As I expected my father started scolding me like anything as if it was a much-awaited opportunity for him. My worried mom helped me out with some cotton and an ointment. As my father seemed not stopping, I shouted at him that I could not do anything about it and I angrily left to my room. Regretting the whole day, I dressed up myself and went to bed. I couldn’t sleep.

‘It wasn’t my day’ I thought.

‘Why do these small things matter so much??’  I questioned myself. I decided not to bank on the pleasure of these silly things anymore. I was just contemplating how the next day will be. I was down and depressed. In a while, I heard the footsteps of my parents approaching my room and I pretended asleep. My mother opened the half closed door and switched on the light.

‘ He has slept’, my father told my mom.

‘ You scolded him too much’ my mom said worryingly as my father left the room.

I never thought that in next few moments I would be all relieved!. My mom came next to me and adjusted my quilt. Thinking I was asleep she kissed on my forehead. I was speechless. As she left the room I couldn’t help myself saying ‘ Love you Amma !’ The moment was complete again!.

‘Really, small things like this matter a lot! What will feel better in this world than ur mom kissing u when you are asleep!’ I thought cheerfully.

“ Really sorry for being harsh today. I really…………...” the text from Deepika beeped! Let me read the whole message!

-Karthik Selva.

மேகத்துள் ஒளிந்த நிலவு- Feel of the lost love..

நிலவே..
மேகத்துள் ஒளிந்து கொண்ட நிலவே..

பௌர்ணமி ஒரு தினம் நான் பார்க்க
துடிக்கிறேன் என்று..

நித்தம் மேகத்துள் ஒளிதல் தகுமோ??

உன் கரைகளுக்காக வருந்தும் உனக்கு..
மீதம் முழுதும் வெளிச்சம் என தெரியவில்லையா??

அவ்வெளிச்சம் இன்றி என்
வாழ்வில்லை என புரியவில்லையா??

ஒளிதல் எனக்கு மட்டும் தானா??

மேகம் என்மேல் மட்டும் தானா??

நிலவே சீக்கிரம் வெளியே வந்துவிடு..

'உன் ஒளியில் எழுதும்
என் கவிதை
பாதியில் நிற்கிறது'!!


-கார்த்திக் செல்வா..

21G

’’It was a brisk sunny morning, attired in a neat formal outfit, I was standing  one among a fairy herd in Kathipara. I cursed my troubling 180 cc bike which made me wait here and the quickly elapsing office time pissed me a bit. This research engineer of CRLI had no moments to spare then. It was 9 am already and I need to report within 9.30. May be I could have been a software professional, I thought , where I would have got a flexible working time. But certainly I have no patience to spit pages and pages of codes infront of the stupid machine.

    As I looked down, a 21 G approaching us gave me a sense of relief. In no time it stopped, I  rushed into the already packed stupid bus  and managed a foothold in stairs. As 21 G started off with a jerk as the conductor whistled just next to my ears, I could not help myself shouting at him, pulling off few pleasant words in Chennai senthamil from him.  Controlling myself I rolled on my eyes over the people inside and as any other typical bus story my eyes fixed at a girl and of course as any other bus story she was beautiful. I took a pause and gazed at her again. Being an engineer in a PSU I could not help my eyes creeping into every possible worth looking girls it comes across. She was only few feet away from me, seated next to window in the second row down me.

     It was vivid seeing her that she was on her way to office. And one thing for which I'm very grateful to MTC  was for marking left half as the ladies berth which attracts a fair amount of travellers in stairs and even more number of people in the bus stops!. Suddenly the devil in me told that, man you are missing all this on your way to office daily. Failing to take off the gaze from her my eyes blinked in unison with my mind. As she engaged herself in a conversation with the girl next to her, nothing interrupted me except a few stops where I got down  leaving way for the passengers and was back on track as soon as possible. And as any other typical bus story my instinct told me that she may be my girl and again my eyes blinked in unison with it. I exorbitantly decided to take some time off from my 180 cc and dedicate some unfeigned time in 21G. She seemed showing no interest about the passing by stops which assured me some nice gazes till CLRI. ‘ CLRI, kotturpuram’, the shout brought my senses back and I moved out of the bus though my eyes were glued into her as far as it could.

         The next day as just another story I was well before in time and as every bus passed by, I started checking the windows searching her before the number of the bus i needed to take. And finally found the 21G of the day with her seated in the same place. I rushed in occupied my position of percipient view. And today glued eyes were retreated with a despised frown from her. Feeling quiet ashamed, I took eyes off from her though my heart sizzled to know about her. As days rolled on she got quite used to it and stayed indifferent to all my valiant efforts to attract her. Everyday she was well seated and it amazed me that how come she is getting seated comfortably always in a jam packed stupid bus. Though its been a fortnight then I had no clue about her whereabouts. Also I could never find her in my way back to home, may be due to our unmatching  office hours. Finally one day the indolent ticketing of MTC buses came to my rescue. When I just got into the 21G of the day, I saw her giving few coins to the fellow next to her to get her ticket from the conductor next to me. As it passed on to me with a whisper ‘ oru mylapore tank’ I could not control myself giggling and turning to the conductor ‘ oru mylapore tank’. Finally I found that mylapore tank was her stop and the devil in me instantly started working. I decided to meet her the next day when she gets down in mylapore tank , wishing not to wait anymore and moved onto a fictional world where I could hear only the loud songs of Yuvan creeping into my ears!!

         The next 22 hours the only thing that flashed in my mind was my well prepared intro to tell her and every possible thing to please her as she knew that im hitting on her.’ Hi, im…. Im from… I work as… I really….. you are so…’ , I was just constructing all these for hours.. Finally the next day morning I gave life to m y 180 cc and almost flew to mylapore tank in no time. I waited for the 21G of the day to see her getting down and meet her, playing rhythms of my crafted intro in my mind. 

         After 20 minutes or so, Yes, there she was in the 21G of the day. My heart beat rose exponentially and as the bus stopped I could see her moving slowly to the stairs. But it all lasted only for a while. The rhythms playing through my mind stopped abruptly. It was all because of what I witnessd then.. She stumbled and stammered as she got down the stairs. On looking closely I found her right leg falling short. God.. she was physically handicapped. I stood shattered. But she was more stumbling when she was on the last step. I could not stop myself going to her and hold her arms as she got down the bus almost losing her balance.. I held her arms and helped her balance. Our eyes met for the first time. . Ieverything I had for her vanished but my love for her stood a class apart.

           Preparing much to speak to her, I just said softly ‘Karthik’., still holding her arm. ‘Shwetha’ she whispered. A momentary silence prevailed. I was able to sense something in her eyes. The world around us paused. Its all upturned now.. It seemed we needed no more info about each other. And magically it has happened, The magic.!’’

”karthik, what are you doing?? Its time.. How much time will you take to finish  breakfast??  Are u Dreaming ??”  Shwetha grinned at me.. Its really such a bad time to tell this.. I felt angry. She erupted me when I was relishing on the journey of my love..

‘’hey.. shwetha“  I giggled at her getting up from the dining table..

“flashback uh??” she said, with a pleasing smile which took me away..

“yeah” I giggled again..

“Well, Ok., Soon.. its time for office..”

‘’yes.. Just a moment”..

I came back and held her arms and helped her to the door, Where my shining Pulsar 180 cc  awaited for a loving couple..

May be, she is not blessed.. but certainly I’m, to hold her arm and walk all along my life.

-Karthik Selva

சிதறல்கள்!!

here r some of the short kavidhais of mine..

1. தமிழர்கள் சுற்றதிலே!

    தமிழோ தெருமுற்றத்திலே!!

2.கவிதை ஒன்று மலர்ந்தது..

   படித்தோர் முகமும் மலர்ந்தது..
   ஏதோ சாதித்ததாய் மகிழ்ச்சி!!!


3.சுதந்திர தினம்

   வெள்ளைக்காரர்கள் வசமிருந்து இந்தியாவை
   கொள்ளைக்காரர்கள் கைப்பற்றிய தினம்
   இன்று!!!

4. B.Tech

     நாளை படிக்கலாம் என்று
     நகரும் நான்கு வருடம் !!


5.  நட்பே..
     என் கண்ணீருக்கு உன் மேல்
     மிக கொடிய கோபம்..
     வெகுநாட்களாய் அதற்கு
     தரையை முத்தமிட ஆசை!!

6.  மலரட்டும் ஒரு உலகம்..
    முதலாளியும் உழைத்து..
    தொழிலாளியும் தழைத்து!!!

7.  நீ செல்லும் பாதையில்..
     காலையில் உன் முகத்தில் அடிக்கும்..
     சூரியன் கூட..
     மாலையில் உன் பின்னால் தட்டி கொடுக்கிறது!!!
     பொறுத்திரு..
     உலகம் மாறும்!!!

8.  நிலவு..

             அனுதினம் நீரில் உன் பிம்பம் தெரிய..
             உன்னில் நீரைத் தேடி பல்லாயிரம் கோடி!!!

             தினம் பார்க்கிறேன் உனை பயத்தோடு..
            ஆனால் நிம்மதி..
            வெள்ளைகள் நிறம் மாறுவது உலகில் இயற்கை!!!



    -                               :) கார்த்திக் செல்வா :)                           -

நண்பனே..--- Nanbane..

This is the lyrics of NIT-T music troupes' own composition 'nanbane'.. which is about friendship..

 நண்பன் ஒருவன் இருந்தாலே...
நரகத்தில் கூட தங்கலாம்..
எதிரே எமனே வந்தாலும்..
ஒரு கைபார்த்து செல்லலாம்..

கவலைகள் ஆயிரம் இருந்தாலும்..
கனவுகள் காக்கிறாய்..
சண்டையிட்டு கோபம்கொண்டு சென்றாலும்..
புன்னகை சேர்க்கிறாய்..
கண்ணைகட்டி காட்டில் விட்டு சென்றாலும்..
பயமில்லை நீ இருந்தா..

அங்கிருந்தும் இங்கிருந்தும் வந்தாலும்..
என்றென்றும்..
வேதம் இல்லை.. பேதம் இல்லை.. ஏதும் இல்லை..

உயிரும் நீ.. உணர்வும் நீ...
உடல் எரியும் வரை..
உலகம் நீ..

கோடி வலிகள் சுட்ட போதிலும்..
தேடி வந்து கட்டி கொள்கிறாய்..
காதல் கூட சொல்லாதது..
கணத்தில் நீ சொல்கிறாய்..

என்ன தவம் செய்தேனோ??
நட்பாக கிடைத்தாய்..
என்ன தான் நான் செய்தேனோ??
உயிரையும் நீ கொடுத்தாய்..

எல்லாமே விட்டு வா..
இசையில் பேசலாம்..

உயிரும் நீ.. உணர்வும் நீ..
உடல் எரியும் வரை உலகம் நீ..



------- கார்த்திக் செல்வா,, நகுலன் ,, சர்வேஷ் கீர்த்தி,,..---------

எட்டாத பட்டாம்பூச்சி....~~ Ettadha Pattamboochi

கண்முன் பறக்கும் வானவில் நீயோ??

காற்றில் மிதக்கும் சித்திரம் நீயோ??

பிரம்மன் போட்ட மார்கழி கோலமா??

வானம் செல்லும் சின்ன மின்னலா??

நொடியில் சுருங்கிய நீல வானமா??

படியில் சிதறும் நவரத்ன மாலையா??

அறியா காட்டின் புரியா வழியாய்..

விட்டதும் துள்ளிடும் அழகிய முயலாய்..

மனதின் ஓட்டமாய்.. மனிதனின் ஆட்டமாய்.

நிமிடத்தில் பிரியும் நிலையில்லா உயிராய்..

தொடும் முன் தொடுவானமே சென்றது..

எட்டாத பட்டாம்பூச்சி..

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